Dating App For People In Recovery
- Dating “Normies” can often lead to slip if you are not ready for what lies ahead. There is a solution! CASL-Clean And Sober Love. Our Dating app is designed with you, the person in recovery in.
- 12StepMatch is the ORIGINAL Recovery Dating Web Site for Sober Men and Women Online to come for Sober Dates, Love or Friends and Support and to search within your own 12 Step Program of Recovery. Whether it be AA Singles, NA Singles, Al-Anon Singles, GA, OA.
- Clean And Sober Dating Sites
- Dating App For People In Recovery Zone
- Sober Dating Sites
- Clean And Sober Love
In recovery many people feel quite lonely, and it really is normal for someone to seek out the companionship of others.
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However, a staple in recovery is that dating too early on in recovery really isn’t a good idea for a number of important reasons. But, what are these reasons?
For starters – you may use dating to fill a void, which is an unhealthy coping mechanism. Since you’ve eliminated a bad ‘habit’ from your life, you may throw yourself into a new relationship in an unhealthy/compulsive manner. Not only is this not good for your recovery – but it’s not fair to the other person.
Secondly, you may find your self either divulging too much or too little information to your new partner. As we all know – recovery is a learning experience, and early on you won’t have the experience to appropriately handle new dating situations. And, a good relationship is built upon open honesty – so you really don’t want to begin something new while covering up the real details of who you are.
Finally, do you really want to become a clinger? Ok, the reality is that this may not be something you see yourself becoming, but with the last two points it really adds up to the fact that there is a strong possibility that someone in early recovery may start feeling like they can’t live without the other person. And this is just yet another unhealthy activity that you shouldn’t have in your life at this time.
BUT, BUT, BUT…
Learning How to Date in Recovery
With that said, there will reach a time where it makes sense to expand your horizons and you will be ready to start dating as you’ve worked through your recovery.
Once you’ve grown as a person and learned the skills and new habits of your sober life – you will likely know when you’re ready!
DON’T FORGET, this will be different for everyone – and it is important to talk with your support system to be sure you really are ready to start dating
So, with that in mind – lets talk about some of the concerns most have when they start dating in their new sober life and how to deal with them:
Should You Date Someone in Recovery? What Will That Look Like?
Most people do not live in a bubble. In reality, you will meet, make friends, and potentially date people that do not adhere to a life of abstinence. If you are comfortable in your sobriety, dating can be less of a problem. It can also be less of a problem as well if the partner who is not sober is willing to simply work with you so that you can feel safe in your sobriety and in your relationship.
There are many ways to meet people in recovery, if you wish. For example, there are multiple sober dating apps that have been developed that filter out people who are sober in your area. This can be a great start to begin to meet people not in the rooms that may distract your recovery. There are also many local sober meet ups, fellowship opportunities, and may be recovery conferences in your area to meet likeminded people like yourself.
Furthermore, you will have the ability to connect with a lot of different people whom you may otherwise never encounter, which should help allay any possible concern or belief you may have about thinking you cannot find that right someone in the recovery community.
Keep the Focus On Your Recovery and Not on Your Partner
With anybody, sober or not, it is important that you know who you are and that you are comfortable with yourself. This is an especially important consideration for those of us in recovery.
We frequently forget who we are when we’re in active addiction and can often be full of guilt, shame, and remorse. This could do serious damage to our self-esteem and self-respect.
In recovery, we attempt to reverse the damage to build ourselves back up, and to learn to love and be comfortable with ourselves. The amount of time, focus, and energy that one needs to devote to this rebuilding will of course vary from person to person and will change over time as one makes progress.
A lot can be gleaned from the information one provides about their recovery. The recovery information also serves as the most obvious conversation starter as well, which can allow you to make an informed decision about whether or not, in your mind, the person is healthy enough to date or is up to your standards or expectations in their way of life.
Learning to Deal With Emotions
Romantic relationships cause a spectrum of emotions.
These emotions can often be overwhelming and intense. As such, they can be difficult and dangerous to face in early sobriety when we are generally fragile and unstable. It is true as well that many of us in our addictions dealt with these emotions by using, we chose not to actually face them. This makes the problem even worse
If we do not have the coping mechanisms or support, there is a good chance we will resort to the only way we dealt with it in the past. Of course, every one of us in recovery assuredly are going to date again, at some point. So it’s important that we focus on doing the things that can help make us emotionally stable, healthy, and independent so that we have control of our emotions, and not the other way around.
There can be many ways to casually connect with people you are interested in. It is a good way to re-enter the dating world in a way that there is very little pressure – this may include meeting people through friends or trying out a dating app. You have a lot more control over how quickly you want to move with someone, and you could keep a constant upkeep on your emotional well being.
Let’s be real, dating in any context can be challenging. Yet, when it comes to dating when you’re living a sober lifestyle, that’s a completely different game in itself.
You may have experienced the familiar sinking feeling when you’ve connected with someone, but they don’t understand why you choose not to drink. After meeting a few different people and having to explain yourself over and over again, it can honestly get quite tiring.
That very annoyance rooted in exhaustion is exactly why we’ve created a complete dating guide for sober singles. Whether it is meeting someone in your AA home group, or connecting with another single in AA, you are not alone in your struggle, and love could be just one sober date away.
To Go Against the Norm With Sober Dating
Drinking is everywhere in our culture. It is why finding a sober date can feel like an uphill battle of trying to explain why you exist and why you make the choices you do. This can often lead to defensive statements that can turn a regular date quite sour.
At times you may have felt pressured in a date to fit in and adapt to what everyone else in the room is doing, even though you know it would compromise your recovery. Those very situations often lead to a continual cycle of guilt and shame that come with actively trying to be in recovery, but also wanting the chance to freely date.
In dating, and in life, you always have a choice. While it may take a little courage, going against the societal norm of drinking is brave. Whether you date someone from your local AA meeting or someone outside of recovery, that person should always offer respect towards your sober lifestyle.
If they don’t? Then that person definitely is not right for you. A partner should always respect who you are as a person and your choices.
Look For Empathy
While in recovery, what do you look for in support? Encouragement? Compassion? People who tell it like it is?
One of the greatest things someone can give in sober dating is the gift of empathy. Empathy is what withstands if you relapse or make a mistake in a relationship. It has the unique ability to guide compassion during your own recovery, and theirs.
When you find someone who understands what you are going through, you have a higher chance of addiction recovery by having a supportive partner that doesn’t look at the action itself, but the person hiding behind it.
When you’re out there on the search for a potential partner, keep in mind how they support you, and how you are able to support them. It won’t always be perfect by any means, but by always looking out for one another, you can form a stronger bond that withstands any relapse or obstacle.
Be Aware of Risks and Train Wrecks
In AA, it sometimes feels like a higher-stakes game for dating. Particularly when you know that if the date or relationship does not work out, you probably will see the person at the next local meeting. This can feel awkward, and sometimes push you, or the other person, to leave the safety net of the group.
According to American Addiction Centers, many organizations discourage dating while a person is in recovery. This is mostly due to how substance use disorder (SUD) and alcohol use disorder (AUD) warp the perspective someone has about themselves. As a person works towards recovery, the beliefs they held previously about themselves can often change and alter a relationship for better, or for worse.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t date while in AA, but it does imply that creating healthy boundaries while dating can help avoid the risk of codependency or repeated abusive behaviors.
Many people who have struggled with sobriety have created habits that result in what is deemed as “train wreck” relationships. That baggage continually is carried into the next relationship if a person has not given themselves time to recover and recognize their own triggers. Triggers within a relationship can feel heightened with confusing emotions, which is why it helps to know your own triggers and to talk through with your partner about theirs.
While risks exist in any type of relationship, knowing how you have previously reacted in relationships prior to being sober can help you navigate away from unhealthy habits and negative behavior loops.
Take It At A Slow Pace
When you meet someone you connect to, it can feel like a fast rush into a relationship. Yet, there are many benefits to taking it slow. If you have been in previous relationships before you were sober, you may have baggage that follows you into the next relationship. Even if you have been living a sober lifestyle for a while, the baggage you held before being sober still is carried with you when it is not worked through.
Whether you have been sober for a couple of months, or a few years, you may react differently in a relationship if you have taken a break from dating while in recovery. Choosing to take it slow helps you navigate your own reactions, as well as how you respond to your partner in arguments, and in everyday events.
Dr. Belisa Vranich, a sex and relationship clinical psychologist, suggests that while dating in recovery can be great, sobriety still needs to be at the top of the priority list. No matter what. If a relationship compromises sobriety, then it needs to end. By moving at a slower pace, you can recognize and assess old familiar red flags that triggered a previous relapse.
Discover the Fun of Dating
While there are always red flags to look out for, dating can also be a fun experience! From meeting new people that are different from you to trying out a new activity, dating gives the opportunity for you to explore new things about yourself and your date.
Explore what things you share about yourself during a date and how you want to approach a potential relationship. Does the person like the same things you do? Are they in recovery too? Are they open-minded about your experiences? Do they laugh at your jokes? Are they interesting to talk to?
Whatever you look for in a match, enjoy the experience of getting to know someone. Ultimately, it is about having fun during the age-old ritual of dating. If a date does not work out, there are always new people to meet!
Find Fellow Sober Singles
One of the best ways to find a date is to connect through a sober dating app. There are the more conventional apps of Tinder, OkCupid, and Bumble, but none of them offer the ability to specifically find other sober singles.
Clean And Sober Dating Sites
Apps like Love In Recovery, Single and Sober, and Step Match, all help individuals looking for a sober date find someone they may be interested in.
When it comes to dating in AA, you don’t want to have to continually explain why you don’t drink, or worse, having to explain it during your date. Choosing the best sobriety app like Loosid, helps you navigate the dating scene without compromising your recovery.
Look for someone who sparks your interest and connect! By choosing someone through AA dating, you can rest easy about alcohol temptation. If you’re wondering about other ways for sober dating, read about 9 ways to find a date when you are sober.
Suggest Creative Sober Date Ideas
When you’ve connected with an ideal date, then comes the part of setting up a date. If you’re new in recovery, this can feel challenging if you typically went out for drinks before. There are plenty of ways to go on a date that does not involve alcohol.
Dating App For People In Recovery Zone
In our app, we offer boozeless guides that give you and your date the alcohol-free experience you were looking for. Whether you want to go to a music event at a coffee shop, or eat dinner at a restaurant without booze involved, we have you covered.
A sober date has endless possibilities, but most of all, it gives you the space to breathe easy and connect with a like-minded individual who understands and supports your decision for a sober lifestyle.
Download the Best Sobriety App For Dating
At Loosid, we want every single person looking for love to experience the best sobriety app that offers a connection to other like-minded sober singles for a fun experience. We want to eliminate the stress of trying to find a match that knows and understands your experience in recovery.
Every individual is different, but dating should be about the beauty of getting to know a person. By recognizing where you are at in your recovery, you can determine whether dating is the right choice for you right now, or if you want to focus on you for a while.
Sober Dating Sites
Either way, choosing to sober date can aid in the recovery process, and may even give you the boost you need to keep on track. Keep in mind the potential risks involved and negative spirals you can fall into.
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